That feeling when you get new jeans and you want to stand in front of its designers and go:

“You! Yes you! Look at these! See them? You know what they are? Curves! They’re curves that would keep these bloody jeans from falling right off my ass if you’d actually designed them to have waist! You know, like most women do?

They were horribly expensive but I’m now making pornographic noises at the first stawberries I’ve eaten this year.

This morning I came to work and had no new email.

I spend half an hour trying to figure out what was wrong with the email server.

I am currently wearing leggings, my amazing comfy oversized sweater and the pink pettycoat I just got at a clothing exchange party. 

I totally feel like the most comfy badass fairy princess. 

Adulting like a pro

When you’re so busy procrastinating at work that you forget to go home in time.

You want to know the funny thing? Ever since i stopped having panic attacks, the thing that scares me most, that ends up getting me closest to having a panic attack again, is the thought of the panic attacks coming back.

Me and my amazing, hot date tonight.

Best date I've been on! First we fooled around on the couch, but now we've gone to bed together, and I'm sure we'll end up sleeping together before the night is out... Or not. I'm sure this one could keep me going all night. It's just that good.

(Its name is Warbreaker, by Brandon Sanderson, for those who really want to know...)

I excel at the art of hitting light switches with my nose because my hands are full.

A thought: One day people will be making period drama about our time period and totally mess up the costuming and costume buffs will write long bitchy essays on the Internet about how the 50’s dresses are totally wrong for the time period and anyway, the collars are all wrong and they would never use these specific patterns, as if! And other people will respond and there will be a flaming war just because we of the 2010s like our historically inaccurate 50’s dresses.

Dear me,

Please make up my mind. Either be too tired to do anything and go the hell to SLEEP or let me DO stuff.

Sincerely, me

There is nothing quite like dancing in the rain after a long, hot day!

My fosterbrother, all of just-nine-years-old was watching the youth news (newsprogram for kids) earlier and looked back at me with this heartbroken expression. “I HATE it when it’s about refugees. It always makes me so sad… Can I just not watch?”

And all I could think to say was “Me too sweetheart, me too…” while not trying to tear up.

Happiness is...

Your best friend calling you on the phone because there’s these Doctor Who themed knock-knock jokes and she just had to tell you.

I had plans today. I was going to go out today. I would get stuff done today. But let's face it, the rain hasn't stopped and doesn't look like it will any time soon, my kettle makes for a never ending supply of tea and I've got this really interesting book on introversion to read. I'm not going anywhere.

Some misery can only be expressed by truly bad poetry

Really Bad Poetry

Sun oh sun,
How could thy betray me so,
The morn was filled with promises,
That upon me your rays you'd bestow.

Sun oh sun,
How could thy hurt my fragile trust,
By letting raindops (teardrops) raindrops,
Fall down upon me with such lust.

Sun oh sun,
I would attack thee justly as a lover scorn'd
If, sun oh sun,
I were not too distracted by the internet to give you the beating you so earned.

When I grow up I'm going to be an absent-minded professor. I'm just practicing.

Als ik later groot ben wordt ik verstrooide professor. Ik ben gewoon alvast aan het oefenen.

I'd start a Procrastinators Anonymous group if I wasn't too busy watching stupid youtube videos. (Also, I should probably see about finishing those texts I want to write first...)

Don't think outside of the box. Take the box and make it into a castle. Or a boat. Or a tree house. Or fill it up with stuff. Or use it to stand on. Boxes are great for lots of things.

Today, I'm breaking up with you. I have a date with Tomorrow and it seems way more promising than anything you have to offer me. Please just leave me alone! I mean it! Don't contact me again, Today!

Gonna kick some butt. Now just to make sure it's the butt of the project plan I need to write and not, by some incredible gymnastic feat, my own.

(Though the gymnastic feat seems increasingly more likely the longer I try and stare this plan down...)